Logline: An extremely shy guy with a heart problem is faced with the issue of confronting his biggest fear.
The story begins with the sound of him taking deep breaths as the pace of his heart slows to a steady pace. We then fade in to him in front of the mirror as he grabs his bag and heads into his kitchen. His mother begs him to take his medication, and they begin to argue. But eventually he ignores her and walks out the door.
Hanging out at his friends house, they’re sitting on the couch playing video games when out of the blue the friend asks him about his heart condition. The boy tries to change the subject unsuccessfully, because the friend is truly concerned and wants him to see his doctor again. The friend bombards him with his advice about what to eat, how to keep his heart rate low, and other important things that the boy obviously has no interest in. The friend gives up, and asks him how the girl he likes is doing. Reluctantly, the boy shrugs and says that he hasn’t spoken to her yet, and that he would eventually. The friend tells him to talk to her immediately.
The next day at school, the boy approaches the girl but then takes a step back. The friend eyes him and signals him to talk. She looks at him and says hi, and he stands there nervously as he greets her back. She asks him what’s wrong, but suddenly he faints as the screen goes black. All we hear is his heart beating as fast as possible, but as the girl’s voice surfaces, the heartbeat slows to its usual pace.
1) the intent of this scene is to show the constant sound of heart beating and how it relates to the boy and his daily trials
ReplyDelete2) The first plot point is when the boy and his mother get in an argument, showing that the boy is almost in denial of his need for his medication. then its with his friends, which furthers the point that he doesnt like talking about his heart problem... also introduces a love interest. and the next plot point is when he sees the girl, but his heart problem gets the best of him
3) The climax of this scene is when he sees the girl and he faints
4) There doesnt seem to be much of a resolution developed, just the girls voices over the heart beat
5) The scene concludes with him fainting and hearing her voice while he can only see black
6) the dialogue between him and his mother is important because it suggests that he has a heart problem and he is reluctant to address it, then the dialgoue with his friends shows his relationships along with his love interest
7) the main character seems to be the one who controls the scene because its based a lot of his own internal struggles with his heart problem
8) I would suggest to have more resolution in the ending... some sort of resolution with his crush, his heart problem, and/or his mom. i think the audience would need to see how he resolves the denial he's in with his heart problem